One Life, Dream Big – Part 1

Sensationalism belongs in the headline of a story, but it can never truly capture what is genuinely extraordinary – keep this in mind as you continue to read.  This article is not a fictional story but a true account of the real-life experience of a lively fifteen-year-old girl whose greatest passion was all things equestrian.

Faye O’Hara’s life changed forever on the 13th of April 2006, when she was involved in a devastating, fatal road traffic collision that left her completely paralysed, unable to walk and with the use of only one arm.  She spent months in hospital, the first few spent fighting for her life, while her family didn’t know if she would even survive.

A Devastating New Reality

Faye woke to the devastating reality of paralysis. She had to accept that she would never walk again, that her life would always be physically challenging, more so with only the use of one arm and nothing would ever be the same again. But to Faye this only meant one thing and that was never being able to ride or show jump again, or to have the life and the future she dreamed of with horses, because until then, her life had been  consumed with horses.

After several months, when Faye eventually left the spinal injuries unit, she was already an extremely angry and bitter young person. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with horses and had put up a wall. She didn’t want to see horses, talk about them, or even meet with her social circle of fellow equestrian friends. As is often the case for people with spinal injuries, Faye was discharged from hospital before adequate arrangements and facilities were in place at home, so life was extremely tough.

It is also common for individuals to face numerous complications as their bodies adjust to the trauma; these complications mean further hospital stays and Faye was no exception. By this point, she had already started to alienate herself from her friends, ‘horsey friends’, when in truth she needed them most. Yet the bitterness grew and who can judge that frame of mind? Who can judge the feeling of desperate loss for the thing that Faye loved most but could not face?

No Happy Hacker

Faye was no ‘happy hacker.’ Having started riding at the age of five, she soon had a pony of her own, Marmite. Perfectly named, you either loved or hated him, but Faye absolutely adored him, learning the ropes as all pony mad children do. On her thirteenth birthday, her ribbon-wrapped surprise was a two-year-old Thoroughbred/Cob cross named Savanah. Faye carried out all the groundwork herself, eventually backing Savanah and bringing her on to ride. It was when the mare turned six and was just beginning to start her jumping career that tragedy struck Faye’s life.

The indescribable bitterness and anger continued to consumed Faye for years, eating away at every part of her life until she found herself in a very dark place, with no friends, no joy, no sense of purpose and no vision of a future; Faye had hit rock bottom.  It took Faye four years to emerge from a deeply difficult period before she could begin to contemplate any form of independence.

Hope in Carriage Driving

It was another four years, eight in total, before she could even consider welcoming horses back into her life. Carriage driving was the first path that she felt able to explore. Fortunately, times have changed, equipment has evolved and attitudes have shifted because her initial experience with the Riding for The Disabled Association was not a successful one.  During her first carriage driving experience, she never even got to hold the reins, even a dual set of reins, which ultimately did more harm than good, leaving her reluctant to try again, particularly with the RDA. She hated being manhandled and felt that no one truly listened to her. What she wanted was simple; to be treated with dignity, not with kid gloves or as though her disability defined her.

Fortunately, through friends, she acquired a Gypsy Cob pony named Isaac who rekindled a love that had lain dormant for years and reignited her passion for horses. Determined, Faye had a ‘cart’ made, she taught herself to drive and with the support of friends and family she would enjoy taking Isaac out driving around the nearby streets.

Around this time Faye was offered the sale of a young Friesian ridden mare named Olka who she purchased with the sole intention of breeding, hoping to produce a foal that she could and would, one day, train herself for driving.  With the birth of that foal, Majestic, an extremely special relationship was born. Majestic was a beautiful colt who grabbed Faye by the heart, and an even deeper passion was ignited.  A whole new chapter of Faye’s life had begun.

Majestic – A New Chapter

However, Majestic was only three months old when sepsis nearly claimed Faye’s life. What followed were two long, uncertain years marked by illness, setbacks and fragile recoveries that kept the family in a constant state of worry.  Yet in those brief stretches when she was strong enough, because of Majestic, life would return for Faye, in small hopeful ways. Majestic would be brought to the family home and the two of them would spend hours together in the garage or the garden, which became Faye’s refuge. It was there, among the quiet routines of brushing, playing and gentle companionship, that something lasting took root.

Majestic started following Faye around everywhere, first around the garage, then into the garden, always staying close, as if drawn by an unspoken trust. As this bond deepened it became obvious that Faye needed more than temporary arrangements, she needed a permanent place for her own needs and a proper yard, a space where Majestic could settle, grow stronger but remain by her side.

The groundwork had already begun.  At the age of four, Majestic was sent away to be trained to drive, a milestone that should have marked an exciting step forward. Instead, it became another difficult chapter. Because of her disabilities, finding someone willing to take on the responsibility proved extremely challenging. Trainer after trainer declined to take Majestic, wary of the risks and uncertain of Faye’s physical limitations. At the time, the rejections felt deeply discouraging and at moments her bitterness returned. With hindsight, however, Faye has come to see those refusals differently. They were not acts of dismissal but of caution and care. People were not turning Majestic away out of unwillingness to help but out of genuine concern for her welfare and safety, a recognition of just how vulnerable she was and how much thought and expertise her future would require.

When Majestic eventually returned from being trained, Faye was warned that he was not yet completely confident in traffic. Having acquired a better carriage, though still not ideal by any means, Faye recalls that both her Mum and her aunt took Majestic out only a couple of times before Faye decided to take the reins as it was obvious that it was Faye’s voice that Majestic listened to and trusted the most.

Important Connection

Around this time, Faye met Pat Cooper from the North East Driving Trials Group, a connection she remains profoundly grateful for. It was Pat who truly helped her take her first real steps into the world of carriage driving. Faye also explored the possibility of para-driving support, approaching the liaison body, but unfortunately encountered an experience similar to what she had previously faced with the RDA.

Assumptions were made that she would be driving a large Friesian, while few people recognised the fact that she still had the pony, Isaac, and that initially she was determined to progress with him. Faye recalls feeling powerless and unheard. Rather than receiving encouragement, she was tired of experiences that left her disappointed and frustrated. While she acknowledges that attitudes and standards have since evolved for the better, she believes the impact on her was lasting and that years of opportunity were lost because of how she was treated at the time.

So, instead, Faye turned fully to the North East Driving Trials Group, where she was welcomed with open arms, encouraged and given the support that she needed to move forward with confidence.

Part two will be published soon.  To follow Faye’s story, you can find more on her website – www.fayeoharamajesticequine.com